Let me begin with this opening statement: sex in itself, of which God had ordained between a husband and a wife is not sinful. The variations of sexual pleasure between a husband and his wife are not sinful either. Hebrews 13:4 in the Word of God states it this way; “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled.”
What might seem reasonable or acceptable to some, might not be appropriate or mutually gratifying to another. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made, according to Psalm 139b. Sexual relations in the lives of married couples, and what they enjoy mutually are governed by their mutually established boundaries of consent and practice. God gave us sex to enjoy, as His creation.
Sex has many healing properties, and is very therapeutic for those seeking achievable outcomes, restricted only by the limitations of their own imaginations! Sex isn’t the problem that has the capacity to enslave us. Lust is. In the “Song of Solomon” we have many references to love, sexual fulfillment, and desires. It is beautiful. It is poetic. It is described favorably. It is to be enjoyed and appreciated, as God has ordained it to be.
In Proverbs 5:15-19, Solomon gives excellent instruction. “Drink waters out of thy own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as a loving hind and pleasant roe: let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished with her love.” The boundaries of marriage provide a safeguard and pleasurable resource for unity and making love.
Sex doesn’t have to be that “White Elephant” in the room. Within the framework of a marital relationship: between a husband and wife, both should feel comfortable and safe to discuss it, explore it, experience it, and enjoy it; respectfully and responsibly, as God had intended it to be between a husband and wife.